Realizations
by Cynlee
Summary: Audrey finds out that there are just some things an O.C. can't do, no matter how much the author wants her to. Rated M for language.


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Hi, just a bit of exercise to work off this writer's block. TMNT are not mine-- if they were, then things would be a heck of a lot different, let me tell YOU!

**Realizations**

Stupid useless turtles!

I mean, really! What is the point of knowing four of the most kick-ass ninja in the world when they can't take three fucking seconds to untie you so you can at the MOST join the fight or at LEAST make a hasty escape?

Raph is making a mess of three of the assailants. I am not a fan of blood and guts-- especially real blood and guts. However, he does it quick and neat and rather without the glee you might suspect he would show.

Mikey is amazing! HOW can he be so deadly and still crack jokes? It's rather disturbing in a way-- is he so detached that he's lost his humanity?

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What am I talking about? You can't show much humanity if you are fighting for your life and the lives of your brothers--

-- or "mother"--

HEAVY SIGH!

I strain uselessly against the stupid ropes. I am losing my touch. I used to be able to wiggle my way out of these things-- who am I kidding, those were just pretend games and the inept tying skills of my brothers...

I turn my attention back to the battle.

There are approximately twenty of these Foot soldiers. Working at the command of Karai-- that bitch, when I get out of here that chick's ass is so mine it's already got my name tattooed on it-- I was dumb enough to allow myself to become bait for the guys.

Yes-- that is how I see it. I should have been more aware of what the hell was going on. I should NOT have been so distracted with certain things that had happened recently between me and Splinter, certain things that were still a well-guarded secret from the guys.

"Leo! Behind you!" I can't help shouting, which is useless-- as useless as I am at the moment. He has always been very aware of his immediate surroundings, but ever since his return from Japan after several months of studying with someone he refers to as "the Ancient One", his sixth sense has become almost as sharp as Splinter's! He is on the Ninja sneaking up behind him before I can finish my warning.

I'm sitting here, wishing to GOD that one of them would take a few seconds to cut me loose.

"How you holding up, Audrey?" Don asks as he cracks a few skulls with that deadly bo. "We'll have you out of those ropes in no time!"

"It's already been ten minutes longer than 'no time'," I complain, still struggling. Stupid ropes! Stupid chair! Stupid Foot Ninja! Stupid Turtles!

Stupid me!

"Oops! Gotta run!" Don shouts, heading in the direction of Raph, who has slipped in some blood and is about to be set upon by several slightly less injured Ninja.

Thwack! Thwack! Crack! Spinsmackspinsmackspinoooffsmacksmacksmack!

Funny, it's hard to describe the sound of a Bo staff as it connects with skulls, bones, muscles, and skin. Combined with that sound of it moving through the air so fast that it hums, it is a strange yet appropriate background song to the fight.

"Hey, Audrey!" Mikey shouts from behind me, as similar sounds of powerfully swung 'chuks, delivering about seventy pounds of pressure to unfortunate targets, bring the evil careers of a few more of Karai's soldiers to an end, "Take it easy! Enjoy the show! We'll get you out of there as soon as we get a chance."

"Mikey, it would take what, three seconds to slice these ropes?"

"Hey, Mom, time is money and all that! Oh, no you don't! No one uses my bro for target practice!"

This last part was to a foot soldier about to throw several shuirken at Leo's unprotected head. The crunching of the bones as the 'chuks connect with this guy's throwing arm is muffled by his understandable screams of pain.

I can feel the skin coming off of my wrists as I try once again to work myself free! STUPID TURTLES!

"Audrey! Stop that! I can see blood on your hands!" Leo commands-- yes, he fucking COMMANDS me to stop! "We will free you in a little bit! Stop making it hard for us!"

I froze in pained shock.

Making it hard for them?

MAKING it HARD for them?

Is that what I've become-- a liability? A helpless person who needs rescuing? A lame damsel in distress?

A loser?

I nearly upset the chair trying to free myself! I manage to get to my feet enough to slam the chair back down, trying to break the legs! I rock that sturdy piece of kitchen furniture like it was a rocking chair. I twist and bend and push so hard that I suddenly realize that I've overbalanced-- I'm about to fall backwards onto the floor-- and my hands are directly behind me, so they will be crushed!

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Damn Karai! I think, as I am overwhelmed with that helpless fear that envelopes one when one is falling...

"Gotcha!" Raph triumphantly shouts, catching the chair and righting it, while at the same moment landing one of the sweetest side kicks I've ever seen executed to the unprotected stomach of a foot ninja.

As he settles the chair, he moves to the front of me and bends down, an evil glint in his eye even as a loving smile crosses his face.

"Now, Aud-- don't you go anywhere! I'll be right back!" he chides, waving an admonishing finger in my face, then quickly kisses my cheek before he launches his maniac self into the little knot of Foot who are driving Mikey ever closer to a corner of the room.

I should have bit that finger!

Blood is in the air. Noise. Shouts. Curses. The smell of sweat, of blood, of pickles-- yes, that surprised me as well, evidently it was a warehouse of sorts that contained a goodly number of boxed pickle jars-- jars that had broken in the fight, scenting the scene with that unique smell-- fills my nostrils even as my ears can no longer discern the voices of my beloved son from among the cacophony of noise that rages around me.

Slowly the number of Foot are whittled down by the determination and skill of the guys. Soon the sound of battle is slowly replaced by the sounds of four heavily breathing Turtles; the drip here and there of blood and pickle juice plunking into a briny, crimson pool upon the hard warehouse floor; the occasional desperate groan of whomever is still alive--

-- the scraping of the legs of the chair I am still bound to as I impatiently scoot it around to get their attention!

NOW they untie me.

I can barely stand, I've forgotten how long I've been tied to that stupid chair. It doesn't matter.

"I told you to stop trying to escape," Leo reprimands me, as Don begins to work on the raw wounds on my wrists where the coarse rope has scraped into the flesh of my wrists in my attempt to escape and join the fight.

I fix him with my best angry adult stare.

"Watch that tone of voice with **me**, Sporty!" I coldly say, as Don begins to apply temporary bandages. "I'm not in the mood! Why didn't you guys set me loose? I could have fought!"

I am so angry I am nearly crying now. I can feel the pent-up emotion spilling out. These bastards had nabbed me on my way home from my dojo. They had caught me so unawares that I felt as if I had done something to deserve to die! They had been skilled, quiet, quick--

--young--

AND then to know, through the bragging of the leader of this group, a Foot who wore a special insignia indicating his seniority, that I was just bait for yet another attempt to harm my family!

**Karai! I must have her for myself!**

You would think that her failure to kill Splinter, Raph, Don, and Mikey-- her failure to defeat Leo who bested her in her own well-protected stronghold-- would point out to her that perhaps her heart truly wasn't into this vendetta, this avenging the "honor" of her father!

But here she was again, after the guys by any lame means possible.

And nabbing someone like this was certainly lame.

Lame.

I've become lame. I used to be able to fight. I took on my father and brothers. I took on street punks, Purple Dragons, even these Foot Ninja. I got to participate in a special tournament at the Battle Nexus, and though I nearly killed Leo, I took on and technically won against the Daimyo's son! Several times!

I have taken on Triceratons during the invasion-- Bishop's goons-- more Foot-- more Purple Dragons-- More more more more more--

And yet I was snagged like a helpless old woman.

Without any further comment I let the guys lead me to their new home.

I still can't get used to this place. I curse Karai again under my breath. The guys seem resigned to the place. They've gone with the flow, as Leo explained that first time they showed me the place.

Still-- Karai! I can see her before me, getting ready for the whupping of her life at my hands!

Splinter is glad to see me, and I him-- but we keep it cool, and the others do not suspect exactly just how glad we are.

"You were injured?" Splinter is quick to see the bandages on my wrists. Immediately he turns an angry gaze upon the guys. "You allowed her to fight?"

"No, Sensei," Leo says calmly. "She kept trying to escape her bonds. Those wounds are from the ropes. We did not allow her to endanger herself."

What?

"You didn't 'allow' me to endanger myself?" I say, the shock in my voice covering my growing anger. I advance on Sporty as though he were a student who had just "dissed the teacher". "What the..."

"Come with me, Audrey," Splinter says quickly, taking my arm. "Do not spend your anger on Leonardo. I ordered them to prevent you from fighting."

I do NOT move; stubbornly, I stand there as the Rat tries to escort me to his new room, even as he asks Don to bring fresh bandages and medicines, and Leo to make some tea.

"I will NOT come with you! Who do you think you are?" I struggle my arm out of his grasp and turning my glare on him. "I am not helpless! You **ordered** them to prevent me from fighting? Who are YOU to order such things?"

I am seething! I mean, sure, things between us have changed, have moved to a new level so to speak, but HONESTLY! Who is Splinter to prevent me from doing anything?

He pleads with his beautiful eyes for me to follow him into his room.

DAMN! He has been taking lessons from Mikey: Puppy dog eyes 101.

I sigh, still pissed, but I also realize that the guys are watching with great interest the exchange. I summon all of my adult reserve.

"Yes, you are right. We should discuss this away from the children," I say, and I do NOT bother to keep the edge out of my voice. I precede Splinter into his new room.

It breaks my heart to enter it. For a few brief minutes it breaks my heart to see what is a shadow of his former room. Gone are his tangible memories of his Master Yoshi. The guys and he, with the willing help of April, have tried to make this as beautiful as his old place, but as I say, it is a shadow of his former room.

Splinter, however, does not care. He told me shortly afterwards that it would take time, and he was in no hurry to make it a copy of his old place.

"As long as my sons are safe, and we are sheltered from the outside, that is all that matters."

Without thinking I sit down and allow him to examine my wrists. His touch is gentle and familiar to me, but I am not in a good mood.

"You ordered them?"

Splinter sighed.

"I did not want you hurt. It was hard enough knowing that Karai had resorted to this tactic in order to reach us. I did not wish to risk losing anyone."

"And what if they had not been able to handle them all?"

"If things looked bad, then one of them was supposed to set you free," he responded.

I so want to give him a piece of my mind, but both Don and Leo have entered the room-- and they show no indication of leaving. Don makes himself busy cleaning and rewrapping my wrists, while Leo pours out cups of tea for Splinter and for me.

"Well, all's well that ends well, right Audrey?" Don smiles. He notices that I do not smile back.

"I am at fault," Splinter said, bowing. "Do not blame my sons. I did not wish you to be a part of this. Your fighting would only have involved you in this vendetta that Karai pursues."

"By using me as bait, she has included me in this, Splinter," I say simply. "You think that I will not want a piece of this action?"

"Karai is mine," Leonardo said quietly, as if it had already been decided. "She keeps trying to draw us into a conflict-- a conflict by which she dictates the conditions. We will deal with her on our terms. I gave her one last chance. You see how she has responded. We are still hunted, though not as arrogantly or openly as before. Her actions drew the unwanted attention of the authorities, and she has been busy insuring that none of their investigations land her in jail. But Karai is mine."

"Leo--" I try, but this is not the Sporty I used to know. This is not the hothead who was sent to study with another Sensei when he lost control even. This is Leonardo, mature turtle. That time away from home has changed him-- not just returned him to his former self, but matured him some how.

And it is Leonardo who calmly, politely, but firmly holds up a hand to stop me from speaking.

"You can not have Karai," he says again in a matter-of-fact voice. "This is our battle; MY battle. Karai is my responsibility. You can not 'Mary Sue' this for me. That is all there is to it."

Mary Sue it?

"Where did you hear that expression?" I ask. He shrugged, indifferent.

"Michelangelo has been writing fan fiction evidently," he responded. "I've been dragged into being his beta reader."

I stare hard at Leo, who speaks of these things without embarrassment for himself or disdain for his brother's interests.

I sit there, too stunned to argue any longer. I realize that three pairs of eyes are watching me, three beings are waiting for me to speak.

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Stupid Karai.

"Okay. I won't get involved. Karai is yours," I say. _Unless I see her first._

Leo, I think guesses my unspoken thought-- hell, I know Splinter does, he is giving me a stern look. Well tough! I mostly mean it anyway.

Leo is right. Karai is his responsibility. This is their battle. I can't fight it. I can't solve it.

I can't "Mary Sue" it.

Stupid Mary Sue.

Stupid me.

"So," I sigh, changing the subject. "Anything I can get you guys for this place?"


End file.
